PS. This is just a framework that helps me! I only use it alongside therapy and other methods too, and some types of pain fit in none of the categories, some fit in all. Please don’t depend on it alone 💙

Questions to ask first:

• What pain is this?
  • Past memory I can take no action to change → Ignore
  • Current insecurity that’s blocking my progress → Chase
  • Current situation I cannot change → Embrace

Ignore

1. You are the story you tell yourself
2. The more you ruminate on negative things the unhappier you will be
3. There’s a lot of things that you cannot change, so just change the story you tell yourself and move on
4. Ban yourself from thinking about the past completely
5. There is no point in torturing yourself or overthinking or living in the past, enjoy the present and move on, those things can’t be changed

Depressed people often tend to dwell on the aspects of their life that have not gone especially well, and this research suggests that their biased memory might be due, in part, to their behaviour (thinking about it more).

And never think about the past. No regrets, ever.

Chase

1. There are benefits to pain: you learn from it, you grow from it, you can never fully avoid it anyways so why treat it like the bad guy
2. The pain you go through teaches you the most, makes you stronger and more resilient in the future, you learn the fastest here
3. Pain creates the best stories and more fun experiences, it helps you connect with people around you
4. Chasing pain makes you adaptable to new situations

Pain is coming anyway. Don’t get a shield. Get a saddle. Tame it.

The sooner you pay a price, the less it costs.

Since you can’t avoid problems, just find good problems. Happiness is solving them.

Don’t be true to yourself, become true to the self you want to become.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!

Embrace

1. Pain is not good or bad within itself, it just is something we experience and go through in life. it’s an emotion like all others.
2. Embracing pain makes you understand and empathise with people more and don’t get out of touch
3. You get very similar sensations in pain and in arousal: increased heart rate, flushed cheeks, excitement → this could be pain or pleasure I’m describing

It’s impossible to be angry and grateful simultaneously.

Sometimes, I’m not a participant in my own life. I’m an observer of that guy who’s doing it.

We suffer, therefore we think.

Elizabeth’s Mental Hygeine Template